Wherewithal will you go?
All take up a lot of room—
not to mention their luggage.
The airfare alone would be exorbitant.
But at least you’d have company.
And if you ever got lost,
surely one of them would know the way home.
They could take turns
keeping watch at night.
And in the morning,
your oatmeal would be waiting for you.
They might even offer
to do the tidying up,
in lieu of rent.
So, go with one,
or go with all.
But please, just go—
you’re standing on my foot.
Tag: philosophy
General Jackassery
Roughshod and roughhouse, scoundrels and cheats
Cake without frosting and pants without pleats
Commercials in theaters and jokes that aren’t funny
I’d trade them right now for world peace (and more money).
Carb Logic
“No, I’m not having another piece of cake. I’m having a different piece of cake.” – Speedway Joe
Carpe Diem
“If physics, quantum mechanics and neuroscience teach us anything, it’s that reality is a moving target, an illusion that has no dimension, form or fathom…and that ultimately, everything is meaningless. So yes, I WOULD like to see the dessert menu.” – Speedway Joe
A Star Is Born
A long time ago I was talking to Christie Brinkley. And I said “Christie, are you ever dissatisfied with your life and the choices you’ve made?” And she didn’t say anything and I thought it was because she was thinking it over. But actually it was because she was just a little baby at the time and she couldn’t talk yet. But I learned an important lesson that day, which is that talking to celebrities is largely pointless.

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