“I think I’m fundamentally uncomfortable with the idea of carrots on a pizza.” – Speedway Joe
Tag: food
Upside-Down Cake, Illustrated
illustration by Cindie Flannagan

Marine Psychology
There’s mussels in Brussels, clams in Dubai
The scampi in Scranton is stacked to the sky
In London they’ve seafood behind every hedge
No wonder the guppy’s on edge.
Intervention
Carlotta, Carlotta,
we feel that you oughta
pull over and go to the loo.
‘Cause you drank too much coffee
when we stopped in Milwaukee—
and your lovely brown eyes
should be blue.
Marjorie’s Mad
Marjorie’s mad, ’cause her neighbor Chad
Is one of those guys who eats loads of fries
And the oil slick (if you walk too quick)
To his front doorway bell to complain of the smell
That results from the fries (along with some flies)
Will likely cause your feet to fly up
To the place where your noggin should be.
And the pain in your end (Chad’s porch doesn’t bend)
Will make you quite tardy to the big french fry party
Being thrown by your neighbor
Who lives next to Chad—
And that’s why Marjorie’s mad.

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