Clair de Lune looked up at the moon
While the wind whispered high in the trees
And the blue light of stars
Lit the valley afar
As it slept in the warm summer breeze.
Intervention
Carlotta, Carlotta,
we feel that you oughta
pull over and go to the loo.
‘Cause you drank too much coffee
when we stopped in Milwaukee—
and your lovely brown eyes
should be blue.
Barnum’s Revenge
England’s downs were full of clowns
From Brighton on up to Forfar
But they’d no problem parking
(not even in Barking)
You see, they’d all come in one car.
Forfar is, in fact, in Scotland, but it worked for the rhyme.
Song of Spring
The rain is falling on my head
It fills my waning soul
It motivates my spirit guide
Removes all trace of woe
Its music is the song of life
That wakes my sleeping youth
Oh, how I love the rain—but still,
I should probably fix my roof.
General Jackassery
Roughshod and roughhouse, scoundrels and cheats
Cake without frosting and pants without pleats
Commercials in theaters and jokes that aren’t funny
I’d trade them right now for world peace (and more money).
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